


A Candle Burns To Fight Off The Gloom

by soft_satan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Cute Kids, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, it's so fluffy I'm gonna die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 17:20:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21530515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_satan/pseuds/soft_satan
Summary: It may come as a surprise to most, but it was not one of their many near-death experiences that made him realize it. No, they had too many of those on a weekly basis due to their careers. It was too much of a normal thing to force him to realize his feelings.The realization actually came when he least expected it to.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 54
Kudos: 671





	A Candle Burns To Fight Off The Gloom

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [A Candle Burns To Fight Off The Gloom](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25220980) by [missdistress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdistress/pseuds/missdistress)



> Title from "I Want You" by Third Eye Blind becuase it's my thing now.
> 
> I wrote this because I was in a depression low and wanted to make myself happy. It worked. I hope it makes you happy too ♡

It may come as a surprise to most, but it was not one of their many near-death experiences that made him realize it. No, they had too many of those on a weekly basis due to their careers. It was too much of a normal thing to force him to realize his feelings.

The realization actually came when he least expected it to.

Their shift had been particularly trying, both physically and emotionally. Their career was no doubt rewarding, but calls like their last one of the night was a brutal reminder of how horrific it could be. As they got changed to leave for the evening, Buck was unusually quiet. Everyone on the team had been affected by the call, walking around the station to finish their shift in a haunting silence, but Eddie couldn’t stop watching Buck. The younger man tried to act tough and like nothing ever affected him, but Eddie knew that it was a mask. He’d seen beneath that mask many times, and he counted himself lucky to be trusted enough to have seen the big, beautiful, emotional heart beneath the cool kid act. That heart was one of the things Eddie loved most about Buck. It was why he trusted him, not just with his own life, but the life of his child. And having seen Buck’s heart was how Eddie knew that he was taking the call especially hard.

“You should come over tonight,” Eddie said casually, zipping up his hoodie and closing his locker.

Buck finally looked up from his hands after spending several minutes sitting on the bench, staring at the trembling digits. His brow furrowed, eyes shining with unshed tears. “What?”

“Come over,” Eddie repeated. “I think we both could use a little cheering up after tonight, and I know a certain eight year old who is particularly great at cheering the both of us up.”

Smiling softly, Buck looked back down at his hands again. “Nah, man. I don’t want to intrude.”

Eddie scoffed, sitting down beside Buck, nudging the younger man’s shoulder with his own. “You’re not intruding if I invite you. We can order pizza, watch a movie, decompress. You can even stay the night. Tomorrow is Saturday, we both have the day off, we can make a day of it. It’ll be fun. Chris will be stoked.”

By now, Buck’s smile was finally reaching his eyes. “Yeah, okay. That sounds amazing.”

“Great!” Eddie cheered as they stood to leave. He patted Buck on the back, his hand lingering there as they walked out of the locker room together.

…

Eddie unlocked the door and walked in, grinning when he heard the clicking of Christopher’s crutches speeding through the living room. “Dad!” he cheered as he turned the corner into the foyer, throwing himself into Eddie’s legs.

“Hey, bud!” Eddie chuckled, leaning down to give his son a hug. “I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Christopher looked up at his father excitedly, but what was standing behind Eddie caught his eye immediately. “Buck!”

Eddie turned to look at his friend just in time to see his warm smile double in size at the enthusiasm in Christopher’s voice. “Hey, Superman!”

Abandoning his father completely, Christopher hurried to meet Buck at the door. Eddie’s heart soared watching the tension lines fade from Buck’s face as he lifted Christopher up and into a tight, slightly desperate embrace. Still holding the boy, Buck followed Eddie into the house, shutting the door behind them.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Christopher whispered into Buck’s shoulder, squeezing the firefighter’s neck as tight as he could.

Eddie didn’t miss the glisten of tears in Buck’s eyes as he squeezed Christopher just as tight. “I’m happy to see you, too.”

“You’re gonna make me cry if you don’t stop that sugary stuff,” Carla laughed from the doorway to the living room, arms crossed and a knowing twinkle in her eye.

“Thanks for staying so late,” Eddie said, leaning in to peck the saint of a woman on the cheek.

“I got to hang out with that adorable little munchkin a little longer, I should be thanking you,” she quipped, grabbing Buck’s sleeve and tugging to make him lean down a bit for her. She kissed Christopher’s curls, dropping a kiss on Buck’s cheek too while she was at it. “You boys have a good night. I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Night, Carla!” Christopher called, sitting up to wave her goodbye.

“Night, Carla,” Buck parroted, waving too.

Carla chuckled, blowing another kiss to the three of them as she slipped out the door.

“Now, for your surprise!” Eddie said, and Christopher turned to him so fast that he was sure his son gave himself whiplash.

“I thought Buck was my surprise…” Christopher questioned, an adorable mix of excitement and confusion in his bright eyes.

“Well, yes,” Buck chuckled. “But the main part of the surprise is that we’re having a sleepover!”

Christopher threw his hands into the air. “YAAAAY!”

Eddie laughed, unable to look away from Buck’s face as he giggled. The way Buck looked at Christopher never failed to warm Eddie’s heart.

…

By about three quarters of the way through the movie, all of them had stopped watching. Christopher had fallen asleep curled up under Buck’s arm, his head on Buck’s chest. Eddie thought he might cry, choosing to stare at them from the other side of the couch instead of the TV. Buck didn’t seem to notice Eddie staring, absentmindedly running a gentle hand up and down Christopher’s back as he gazed at the boy, a contented smile on his face and love in his eyes.

“I told you,” Eddie quipped, a self-satisfied smirk in place when Buck finally looked at him.

“Yeah yeah,” Buck rolled his eyes, giving Eddie a sleepy grin. He looked back down at the little boy fondly. “I gotta say, Diaz. You sure have raised a great kid.”

“Thank you. I think so, too,” chuckled Eddie.

“I love him so much,” Buck whispered, tilting his head to the side. His brow furrowed, as if something just occurred to him. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone or anything this much. Like… my chest hurts when I look at him. Is that normal?”

Eddie had to take a slow, deep breath to keep himself from weeping at that. Just knowing that there was someone else in the world who loved his son as much as he did was enough to make him cry, but the fact that it was Buck just made it that much better. “Welcome to parenthood.”

Buck looked up at him, brows shooting up. “What?”

“You officially know what it feels like to be a parent,” Eddie said, unable to stop his eyes from welling up. “I’m so glad he has you in his life.”

A warm smile spread across Buck’s face as he looked back down at Christopher. “I’m glad I have him.” Buck glanced up at him through his lashes. “And you.”

Eddie’s heart skipped, but he wrote it off as being exhausted and happy. “I should get him to bed.”

“I hate to let him go, but my back is screaming at me to lay down,” Buck chuckled.

“Yeah, me too.” Eddie stood up and stretched before extracting Christopher from Buck’s side. The little boy sighed and cuddled into his father’s chest, but never opened his eyes. Eddie didn’t miss the way Buck shivered with the sudden loss of warmth. “Sorry to take away your heater.”

As Eddie headed toward the hallway, Buck stretched out across the couch, snuggling up into the blanket he and Christopher had been covered up with. “Night, Eddie.”

Eddie threw a soft smile over his shoulder. “Goodnight, Buck.”

…

As Eddie blinked his eyes open, the first thing that registered in his mind was the heavenly smell of pancakes and bacon. With a deep, happy sigh, he pushed himself up and out of bed, stretching as he headed to the hall. He could hear quiet chatter as he neared the kitchen, and it brought a warmth to his heart as Buck said something to make Christopher laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, voice still thick with sleep.

Buck and Christopher spun around to face him as he entered the kitchen, surprise quickly giving way to disappointment. Buck was in front of the stove, spatula in hand, and Chris was up on his step stool beside him, a dull butter knife and half a banana in his hands.

“Darn it! We were gonna surprise you with breakfast in bed!” Christopher said dramatically, a pout puckering his lips.

“Aww, well, I’d much rather enjoy my breakfast with the both of you rather than alone,” Eddie said, coming up to plant a kiss to the top of Christopher’s head. “Thank you, though. It smells amazing.”

“I couldn’t have done it without my sous chef,” Buck held out his hand for a high-five, and Christopher delivered. “He helped me pull the bacon apart and cut up bananas. And we learned all about cross-contamination!”

“Always wash your hands after touching raw meat!” Christopher announced with a confident nod.

“That’s great!” Eddie laughed, wrapping his arms around Christopher and picked him up, putting him down on the flood. “Why don’t you go get set up at the table and I’ll help Buck bring everything out?”

“Kay!” Christopher cheered, grabbing his crutches and heading off to the dining room.

Once Christopher was off, Eddie turned to Buck. The morning light streaming in through the window lit up his skin with a warm glow, and Eddie couldn’t stop himself from staring. Buck was smiling, shoulders relaxed and eyes glowing with joy. He looked so much less haunted than he had the night before, and Eddie was glad that he had had a small part in bringing the smile back to his face. He grabbed a plate from the stack that had been set out and started making a plate for Christopher, laying a pancake down and tossing a few banana slices on top.

“Wait!” Buck’s exclamation startled Eddie, but his smile was still in place as he took the plate from Eddie and used a fork to rearrange the banana slices on top of the pancake, making it a smiley face. He was beaming like an excited kid as he handed the plate back to Eddie, then grabbed two pieces of bacon and placed them on the pancake as hair. “There! Perfect.”

Eddie couldn’t fight the way his lips curled up at the giddiness on Buck’s face. “Why don’t you give it to him?” Eddie suggested, handing it back to him. “So he knows you did it.”

Buck just gave Eddie a shy look, taking the plate and grabbing the bottle of syrup and a couple of utensils on his way to the dining room. Eddie leaned against the counter, watching as Buck set the plate in front of Christopher, who lit up like he’d just opened a birthday present. Eddie’s heart skipped a beat as Buck started cutting the pancake up for Christopher, making some kind of small talk that Eddie couldn’t hear but certainly made his son laugh. And then Eddie’s pulse quickened, an exhilarating mix of excitement and fear rushing through his veins as something finally clicked.

He loved Buck.

True, he had loved him for a while, but the way one would normally love a best friend. He had even told him before, and Buck had returned it with a warm smile. But this…

This was different.

Sure, he’d noticed how beautiful Buck was the very first time he’d laid eyes on him. It was hard not to. And maybe he had fantasized about kissing those full lips once or twice early on in their friendship, but he had given up on that idea pretty quickly when Buck had gotten together with Ali not long after Eddie had started working at the 118. He wasn’t even sure if Buck could feel the same way about him. Of all the deep conversations they’d had, they had never discussed the topic of sexuality.

But in that moment, watching the way Buck smiled so easily at his son, the love in his eyes when he looked at the boy, Eddie realized. His little crush that he thought he had snuffed out had actually been smoldering the entire time. And without him realizing it, it had exploded into a blazing wildfire. Who Buck was as a person had sparked the fire, but the way Buck was with Christopher was a fuel-soaked rag being tossed onto the still-hot coals.

Buck pecked Christopher on the cheek, messing his curls as he walked back into the kitchen. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he walked by, took a plate, and started to stack it tall with pancakes.

“Aren’t you going to make a plate?” Buck asked, grabbing a piece of bacon and taking a bite from it before tossing it onto his plate.

“I’m in love with you.”

Buck choked, grabbing at his throat as he coughed and sputtered, trying to swallow the piece of bacon he had just inhaled. He looked up at Eddie with wide eyes, trying to catch his breath. “What did you say?”

Suddenly Eddie’s burst of courage was gone, leaving a frantically beating heart and a feeling of doom in the pit of his stomach. Had he just ruined the best friendship he’d ever had? He could no longer meet Buck’s eyes, so he grabbed a plate and started to fill it. “Nothing, never mind. I’m sorry…”

“Eddie,” Buck breathed, grabbing Eddie’s hand as he reached for the bacon.

Eddie met Buck’s eyes, surprised to see them glistening. They both set their plates down, but neither let go of the other’s hand. Eddie was sure that Buck could feel his pulse fluttering in his hand, but if he wasn’t mistaken, he could feel Buck’s too.

“Say it again… please…” Buck asked, voice soft. “Just… so I know I understood what you meant.”

Eddie swallowed, eyes flicking between Buck’s eyes and lips. Buck leaned in slightly, only inches separating them. This time it came out softer, strained with fear but still just as true. “I’m in love with you.”

Buck released a breath, nodding. “Good,” he said, lips turning up on the corners. “Because I am head over heels in love with you.”

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat. He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, but the second their lips met, it didn’t matter. It was so soft, cautious almost, so gentle it made tears well up in Eddie’s eyes. No one had ever kissed him so sweetly, so full of love and care. When they broke apart, breathless, they found each other’s eyes again. Buck’s blue eyes were stormy with desire, with a glimmer of excitement and love as he grinned like an idiot.

“We should probably go eat,” Eddie chuckled, squeezing Buck’s hand before letting go. “And maybe talk later?”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, still grinning as he finished piling bacon onto his plate. “As long as “talk” is code for more of… that…”

Throwing a smirk and a wink over his shoulder, Eddie headed for the dining room. “We’ll see about that.”

They settled in at the table beside each other, Christopher still enjoying his pancake across from them. “This is gonna be the best day ever!” Christopher announced with a syrupy smile, munching on a banana slice.

“I’d say it already is.” Eddie met Buck eyes in a sidelong glance, bumping his shoulder into Buck’s with a happy smirk, getting a blinding smile in return.

He wanted this every day. His home full of warmth and laughter, his heart full of love.


End file.
